Ride The Magic Carpet

Feminists are known for not shaving their armpits, watching Oprah and creating the Lilith Fair Music Tour. They also frown upon anything manly - which means moustaches. In the following MSN conversation a feminist tries to convince me that growing a moustache will decrease my sexual appeal. Luckily being a man of higher education I am savvy to her bra-burning mind tricks and escape without being phased.

The following is a transcript of the actual MSN convo in question.

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
i told you about what im doing for my birthday right?

jess says:
if you're pulling a graucho marx i'll never talk to you again

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
how did you know?

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
i told you didn’t I

jess says:
FUCK

jess says:
DON'T

jess says:
you did this last year or something

jess says:
i just guessed

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
no i tried to before. this year im succeeding. i have guys on board

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
im actually starting a blog right now based on the next three weeks

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
its called - FACEBUSH: the three weeks we decided to be men.

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
i'll try and get my friends as well as myself to post on the process of growing a moustache, what it is teaching us about life and how its changed us as people

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
as well as grooming tips and what not.

jess says:
you fucking jerk

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
what?

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
how am i a jerk

jess says:
i don't understand how boys think this is funny or attractive or whatever

jess says:
andre is pulling this shit too

jess says:
he looks like a cop or a rapist

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
i did it first.

jess says:
you'll look

jess says:
i dont even know

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
perverted.

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
the word you're lookign for is perverted.

jess says:
i believe that's what it's called actually, this sort of moustache.

jess says:
"the pervert"

jess says:
like when you go for a beard trim or a shave at a barber

jess says:
you ask for the Pervert

jess says:
and they know what you mean.

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
its not about being perverted or even about style.

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
its about being a man

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
if only for a short time in your life

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
to look back and know

jess says:
grow a goatee!

jess says:
or a beard even!

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
goatees are for pussies who listen to emo

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
beards are for washed up middle agers who still talk about the 60's

jess says:
my father grew a beard.

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
my point exactly.

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
furthermore, im not taking it down to a moustache until my bday

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
for now i just have a beard

jess says:
oh my god

jess says:
you'll have a stache on your bloody birthday?

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
so. what the fuck are you trying to say?

jess says:
krissen narine

jess says:
you are more than handsome

jess says:
but it will all go to shit when you do this

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
yeah but jess, its not about handsome. its about sacrifice. its about knowing ones self. its about looking a woman dead in the eye and stroking your moustache while asking her "have you ever taken a ride on the magic carpet?"

jess says:
i just threw up all over my laptop

Dear Belichick/Brady: In your mouth. Sincerely, Peyton. says:
i bet it was a sexy throw up though. the kind you have when you've been so aroused your body just can't handle it.

***end of convo***


Final Score: Men - 1 Feminists - 0