As Christopher Reynolds shows us in today's informative and historically broad discursive, the power of the moustache can be wielded for good but also evil.
Lets now take a look into the dark heart of the awesome power we have embraced in our journey to manhood and use this post as a reminder of what might happen should we stray from our righteous paths.
Enjoy.
From Reynolds:
I have noticed that a lot of the posts on this blog seem to flaunt the manhood and personal experiences of the stache, but no one has really dipped into the dark history of the stache.
Many evil people throughout history have worn a moustache. Examples include…
Adolf Hitler
Joseph Stalin
Genghis Kahn
Sadam Hussein
Yosemite Sam
Pablo Escobar
Rance Mulliniks
At first glace these men seem very different. One man might be hell bent on getting that no good darn Rabbit, while another man might have controlled a drug empire that spanned the entire Andes Mountains. A few of these men might have been possessed with taking over the world, but cant come close to 35 consecutive at bats without a single hit. But one thing all of these men do have in common is the Stache and an unprecedented level of evilness.
When I first thought of this yesterday I could not believe how many truly evil people throughout history were adorned with a moustache. When trying to make the same example with “Good People” I could only think of Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr, and Fred McGriff.
What is it about evil people that possess them to wear the Stache? Or does the Stache make them evil? In the case of Adolf Hitler, he began wearing his Stache right about the time he started making anti-Semitical speeches to Beer Halls in Munchen. Stalin was always known to adorn a Moustache which must have led to his rise in the Communist Party in the USSR. Yosemite Sam has always had a moustache and has always been evil as far as I can remember. Pablo Escobar (like most Columbian men) was in fact born with a moustache and was most likely born evil (like most Columbian men).
But I believe the best explanation of why these figures throughout History adorned Moustaches is because it gets peoples attention. It shows the rest of the world that these people are serious mother fuckers that mean business.
Lets take a modern day example. Kim Jong Il vs. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
When I first thought of this yesterday I could not believe how many truly evil people throughout history were adorned with a moustache. When trying to make the same example with “Good People” I could only think of Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr, and Fred McGriff.
What is it about evil people that possess them to wear the Stache? Or does the Stache make them evil? In the case of Adolf Hitler, he began wearing his Stache right about the time he started making anti-Semitical speeches to Beer Halls in Munchen. Stalin was always known to adorn a Moustache which must have led to his rise in the Communist Party in the USSR. Yosemite Sam has always had a moustache and has always been evil as far as I can remember. Pablo Escobar (like most Columbian men) was in fact born with a moustache and was most likely born evil (like most Columbian men).
But I believe the best explanation of why these figures throughout History adorned Moustaches is because it gets peoples attention. It shows the rest of the world that these people are serious mother fuckers that mean business.
Lets take a modern day example. Kim Jong Il vs. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
North Korea has Nukes, they have tested them and are hell bent on going to war with the States. But is this threat serious? NO. Do you take this guy seriously? If you met Kim Jong Ill in an alley would you be afraid? I wouldn’t be afraid of that guy if he was driving a Monster Truck with an AK 47. But I bet your opinion would change if you saw some bad ass Korean Mo Fo with a Foo Man Choo wouldn’t yah!
Iran does not have Nukes… they have been trying for decades to make nukes but due to the incompetence of their programs they have not been able to make one. But is Iran a threat? They weren’t until a man of the Stache was elected their leader. We take their threats very seriously because this asshole looks like some crazy somabitch with a mission to kick some Isreali/Yankee ass!
I have heard a lot of complaints from this board saying that “They work in a bank” or “Work in the food services” and can therefore not grow a Stache. I think that this might be due to your sessile like past in which you adorned no facial hair. Those years of having no facial hair have beaten you into a mouse. They question your motives and will tell you to not grow a Stache not because they are offended by your facial hair, but just because they have told you to do so many things in the past that did not make any sense and you agreed with them. I have suffered this same fate myself for to many years. Do me a favour. Take a stand! Take a stand for your manhood and decision making abilities. The upper echelons of society are filled with decision makers, not intelligent people. Remember that, and remember you made a choice to grow a Stache. People don’t take you seriously, and they don’t have confidence in your decision making abilities. A man of the Stache commands respect no matter how incompetent he may be. I have noticed this week that people are now paying attention to me when I talk at meetings. I have now noticed that stupid suggestions are now being implemented into policy. I feel as though my stock is rising and it has nothing to do with brighter decisions, charming anecdotes, or the way I convey my message. I am thoroughly convinced it has something to do with the Stache.
Finally… to explain Rance Mulliniks and how he fits in to this whole argument. How is it that a man that consistently blew goats at third base remained on the team when Kelly Gruber came on board? How is it that a man that consistently was the worst member in the Blue Jays batting lineup was not traded? How was this failure able to win two World Series off the coat tails of two great teams? The answer is in the Stache. (note: the same argument holds true for Ringo Star)
I now know the power of the dark side, and to tell you the truth… I think its kinda cool.
See you on FRIDAY my Brotherhood of the Stache!
Christopher Reynolds
Energy Savings Group
Iran does not have Nukes… they have been trying for decades to make nukes but due to the incompetence of their programs they have not been able to make one. But is Iran a threat? They weren’t until a man of the Stache was elected their leader. We take their threats very seriously because this asshole looks like some crazy somabitch with a mission to kick some Isreali/Yankee ass!
I have heard a lot of complaints from this board saying that “They work in a bank” or “Work in the food services” and can therefore not grow a Stache. I think that this might be due to your sessile like past in which you adorned no facial hair. Those years of having no facial hair have beaten you into a mouse. They question your motives and will tell you to not grow a Stache not because they are offended by your facial hair, but just because they have told you to do so many things in the past that did not make any sense and you agreed with them. I have suffered this same fate myself for to many years. Do me a favour. Take a stand! Take a stand for your manhood and decision making abilities. The upper echelons of society are filled with decision makers, not intelligent people. Remember that, and remember you made a choice to grow a Stache. People don’t take you seriously, and they don’t have confidence in your decision making abilities. A man of the Stache commands respect no matter how incompetent he may be. I have noticed this week that people are now paying attention to me when I talk at meetings. I have now noticed that stupid suggestions are now being implemented into policy. I feel as though my stock is rising and it has nothing to do with brighter decisions, charming anecdotes, or the way I convey my message. I am thoroughly convinced it has something to do with the Stache.
Finally… to explain Rance Mulliniks and how he fits in to this whole argument. How is it that a man that consistently blew goats at third base remained on the team when Kelly Gruber came on board? How is it that a man that consistently was the worst member in the Blue Jays batting lineup was not traded? How was this failure able to win two World Series off the coat tails of two great teams? The answer is in the Stache. (note: the same argument holds true for Ringo Star)
I now know the power of the dark side, and to tell you the truth… I think its kinda cool.
See you on FRIDAY my Brotherhood of the Stache!
Christopher Reynolds
Energy Savings Group
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